Children and Trauma

Do children react differently to trauma than adults?

The answer is yes. In adults some of the symptoms of trauma include night mares, flash backs, avoiding thoughts or feelings associated with trauma, detachment, feeling numb, depression, and anxiety.

When children experience a trauma, their reactions may look much different from adults. Younger children may regress. They may revert back to immature behaviors. For instance a child may begin bed wetting, having accidents during the day, or use baby talk. They may act out their scary situation with toys. They may also become clingy. Older children who experience trauma may act out, be defiant to authority, and have an excessive need to control things (and people) around them. They may have anger outbursts, they may steal or hoard items like food or lie. They may lash out at the very people who are attempting to help them. Sometimes, people who don’t understand what is happening in this situation, view the child as a trouble maker, they may think that the child is choosing to be “bad”.

If a child was abused by someone they knew or loved, they may have difficulty having trusting, loving relationships with their safe caregivers. They may unconsciously feel the need to test these relationships to see if the caregiver will protect them. Sometimes they may actually set themselves up to be rejected. For example, a child (who was abused in the home by a family member) may feel distrust of the remaining parent even though that parent stopped the abuse as soon as it was discovered. The child may focus his or her anger at the remaining parent, testing the limits, saying hurtful things, and at the same time be very clingy and dependent upon that parent. As a parent or caregiver in this situation, it can be very frustrating and exhausting.
 

If you are caring for or parenting a child who has been traumatized, please be patient and understanding.  While kids need consistent limits, they also need nurturance, kindness and understanding.

Laurie Patton

 

Coming soon: Tips on how to deal with a traumatized child.