This Is SO Not About Football

Following the Penn State news has made it a tough week for lots of us—those who experienced childhood sexual abuse and those who strive to help them heal from the long-term harm caused by that abuse. It’s not just the sexual exploitation, damaging as that is, that harms a child. For many victims who develop post-trauma disorders, it is more than the anguish of being used, raped, humiliated by a perpetrator. The response and non-response of other adults can constitute a betrayal that leaves a decades-long impact.

As satisfying as it may be to hear that one perpetrator has been temporarily removed from the general public, there is no doubt that thousands of serial pedophiles have been allowed to continue abusing kids because they are “pillars of the community,” are well known, would be angry if someone complained. Penn State is one small example of what has happened, and continues to happen every day, when other adults witness, hear about, or suspect child sexual abuse. Otherwise responsible adults walk away, pretend that they did not see or hear, whisper to other adults, worry about the perpetrator’s reputation and their own. Rarely does the non-protective adult speak to that child at all, much less provide comfort or support.

Psychology calls it cognitive dissonance—the psychological disconnect between recognition of the perpetrator as a criminal and the accustomed image of protective parent, loving grandparent, dedicated member of the clergy, conscientious teacher, or devoted Scout leader. We know that those conflicting social images are what cause abused children to think “Everybody knows that he/she is a good person. It must be me. I must deserve this.”

So it’s a good thing that one perpetrator has been arrested and a few enabling adults has been removed from leadership positions. But what about all of the child victims that have not yet been identified, in Pennsylvania and Nebraska and elsewhere? The adults who were once those youngsters? The years of fear and pain that don’t end when a child grows up? It’s a good thing that Penn State took some action. It is not nearly enough.

Sherry Cox