Judgmental Thinking

One of the most important principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is adopting a nonjudgmental pattern of self-talk and thinking. My simplest definition of judgmental thinking is “being at war with what is.” Or perhaps even more to the point would be “being at war with WHY things are the way they are,” instead of focusing on how to make things better.

Rarely do I have a therapy session where “judgmental thinking” is not a significant factor in the level of suffering that I see in my clients. Over the past several weeks, I have noticed “anger” to be the main issue being reported by so many of my clients, seemingly eclipsing reports of depression, anxiety, and other common symptoms of psychological suffering.

Since “judgmental thinking” is an expression of frustration leading to anger, I have spent significant time discussing being nonjudgmental versus judgmental, and the toxic effects of the latter. What I also came to realize as many of my clients talked about their anger at various people and/or situations, is that they were most angry with themselves, but not verbalizing it. When this is gently brought to their attention (that they were harshly judgmental with themselves), they have almost always experienced a gush or flood of emotions, often crying, and admitting that they were indeed afraid they were the cause of all of their problems.

The effects of this on me have been to remind me not only of the powerful effects of judgmental thinking on the mood and disposition of my clients, but also of the many forms that the thinking style can take. I also have come to view much of the anger being expressed in my sessions as misdirected self-anger. I would argue that self-anger is far more important and damaging (and therefore demanding attention first) than the anger expressed at others. I would like to know what others think about this link between judgmental thinking and self-anger.

Mark Hankla