“If Only I Could Get Some Sleep”
Trauma disorders and sleep problems tend to go together. For some individuals, the same over-active brain chemicals that keep them feeling “on alert” during the day keep them feeling as if they must be on the lookout for danger throughout the night as well. Nightmares and upsetting dreams—a common consequence of traumatic experience—can awaken some people from sleep and make others dread falling asleep in the first place.
Other causes of sleep problems include medical problems such as chronic pain and stomach or intestinal distress. Research has shown that individuals with trauma disorders are far more likely than the non-traumatized person to suffer from both.
Unwanted memories of past traumatic events, from which the activity of daily living can be a distraction, sometimes resurface as an individual settles down for the night. And worry—about present day stresses or fear that something dangerous will again happen in his life—commonly interferes with the quality of a trauma survivor’s sleep.
All in all, it’s hard for many individuals who live with trauma disorders to get a good night’s sleep. These suggestions may help:
• Stay away from alcohol. Lots of people make the common mistake of using alcohol to turn off “on alert” feelings. While alcohol may help us fall asleep, it disrupts the sleep cycle, interfering with the length and quality of sleep as well as meddling with the internal clock that tells when to become sleepy the next night and the night after that. Alcohol causes more problems than it solves.
• Stay away from noise and light. Sleep in a bedroom with lights off or dimmed and the TV off. While lights and background noise may be initially reassuring, they interfere with being able to enter a deep, resentful sleep stage.
• Start early to prepare for bedtime. Try to get up every day at the same time, even when you are tired, to reset your biological clock for sleep time. Exercise early in the day rather than before bed. A soothing hot bath and cup of coffee may look good on TV commercials but exercise, heat and caffeine are all stimulants that will hinder becoming sleepy.
Sherry Cox
Monday, September 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
A Definiton of Mindfulness
A Definition of Mindfulness
Mindfulness is awareness without judgment of what is, via direct and immediate experience. When you are mindful, you are fully alive to each moment of life as it is, not as you wish it would be, and can respond to it skillfully. Mindfulness is taught as a skill in Dialectical Behavior Therapy and other mindfulness-based therapy approaches.
How often in life are we doing one thing while thinking of another, whether thinking ahead to the next thing we need to do or ruminating on a problem of the past. It is in doing this that people often run on “auto-pilot,” missing their life in the present moment. How often do we miss out on the opportunity for true intimacy with another in being self-conscious rather than being able to be truly present with the person and enjoy their company. The goal in teaching mindfulness skills is to help a person to become mindful rather than mindless; to help one to control’s one mind rather than let their mind control them.
In learning to become fully aware of one’s present experience with acceptance, one can best meet each moment of their life by doing just what is needed. Each moment of one’s life becomes an opportunity to practice mindfulness skills and life becomes one’s practice. There is freedom in being able to face the reality and sometimes pain encountered in our life. In being truly mindful, one is able to experience life as it is, as well as one’s own self and emotions, and other people as they are, in the here and now.
Jaci Pekarek
Mindfulness is awareness without judgment of what is, via direct and immediate experience. When you are mindful, you are fully alive to each moment of life as it is, not as you wish it would be, and can respond to it skillfully. Mindfulness is taught as a skill in Dialectical Behavior Therapy and other mindfulness-based therapy approaches.
How often in life are we doing one thing while thinking of another, whether thinking ahead to the next thing we need to do or ruminating on a problem of the past. It is in doing this that people often run on “auto-pilot,” missing their life in the present moment. How often do we miss out on the opportunity for true intimacy with another in being self-conscious rather than being able to be truly present with the person and enjoy their company. The goal in teaching mindfulness skills is to help a person to become mindful rather than mindless; to help one to control’s one mind rather than let their mind control them.
In learning to become fully aware of one’s present experience with acceptance, one can best meet each moment of their life by doing just what is needed. Each moment of one’s life becomes an opportunity to practice mindfulness skills and life becomes one’s practice. There is freedom in being able to face the reality and sometimes pain encountered in our life. In being truly mindful, one is able to experience life as it is, as well as one’s own self and emotions, and other people as they are, in the here and now.
Jaci Pekarek
Monday, September 19, 2011
I Don't Know What To Say
“I Don’t Know What to Say”
The people closest to a traumatized individual—partners, family members, friends—often tell us that they don’t have any idea what to do or say in response to trauma disorder symptoms. It may help readers in that difficult position to begin with a review of common well-intentioned statements that are not helpful. These are some things that we encourage you not to say:
“That was in the past. You’re OK now.” It’s just not true. The traumatic event may be long over but the essence of a trauma disorder is that the effects of the event last far into the future. You would not tell someone with a broken leg that he is “OK now,” since the auto accident in which he was hurt happened in the past. Likewise, the damage done by exposure to psychological trauma takes a long time, and much work, to heal.
“You’ve got to let go of the past and get on with your life.” People with trauma disorders are not holding onto the past. The past is holding on to them—often with a suffocating grip. The traumatized individual usually wants desperately to get on with her life and is working as hard as she can to do just that.
“Try not to think about it.” Among the symptoms of trauma disorders are intense attempts to avoid any reminders of the traumatic event. While understandable, this tends to make trauma symptoms worse. It’s not thinking about the past that is the problem, it’s not being able to think about traumatic experiences in a full beginning-to-end way.
So…..when you want to help and don’t know what to say, replace giving advice with giving support. Saying “I’m sorry you are feeling rotten. Is there anything I can do to help?” can mean a lot.
Sherry Cox
The people closest to a traumatized individual—partners, family members, friends—often tell us that they don’t have any idea what to do or say in response to trauma disorder symptoms. It may help readers in that difficult position to begin with a review of common well-intentioned statements that are not helpful. These are some things that we encourage you not to say:
“That was in the past. You’re OK now.” It’s just not true. The traumatic event may be long over but the essence of a trauma disorder is that the effects of the event last far into the future. You would not tell someone with a broken leg that he is “OK now,” since the auto accident in which he was hurt happened in the past. Likewise, the damage done by exposure to psychological trauma takes a long time, and much work, to heal.
“You’ve got to let go of the past and get on with your life.” People with trauma disorders are not holding onto the past. The past is holding on to them—often with a suffocating grip. The traumatized individual usually wants desperately to get on with her life and is working as hard as she can to do just that.
“Try not to think about it.” Among the symptoms of trauma disorders are intense attempts to avoid any reminders of the traumatic event. While understandable, this tends to make trauma symptoms worse. It’s not thinking about the past that is the problem, it’s not being able to think about traumatic experiences in a full beginning-to-end way.
So…..when you want to help and don’t know what to say, replace giving advice with giving support. Saying “I’m sorry you are feeling rotten. Is there anything I can do to help?” can mean a lot.
Sherry Cox
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Judgmental Thinking
One of the most important principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is adopting a nonjudgmental pattern of self-talk and thinking. My simplest definition of judgmental thinking is “being at war with what is.” Or perhaps even more to the point would be “being at war with WHY things are the way they are,” instead of focusing on how to make things better.
Rarely do I have a therapy session where “judgmental thinking” is not a significant factor in the level of suffering that I see in my clients. Over the past several weeks, I have noticed “anger” to be the main issue being reported by so many of my clients, seemingly eclipsing reports of depression, anxiety, and other common symptoms of psychological suffering.
Since “judgmental thinking” is an expression of frustration leading to anger, I have spent significant time discussing being nonjudgmental versus judgmental, and the toxic effects of the latter. What I also came to realize as many of my clients talked about their anger at various people and/or situations, is that they were most angry with themselves, but not verbalizing it. When this is gently brought to their attention (that they were harshly judgmental with themselves), they have almost always experienced a gush or flood of emotions, often crying, and admitting that they were indeed afraid they were the cause of all of their problems.
The effects of this on me have been to remind me not only of the powerful effects of judgmental thinking on the mood and disposition of my clients, but also of the many forms that the thinking style can take. I also have come to view much of the anger being expressed in my sessions as misdirected self-anger. I would argue that self-anger is far more important and damaging (and therefore demanding attention first) than the anger expressed at others. I would like to know what others think about this link between judgmental thinking and self-anger.
Mark Hankla
Rarely do I have a therapy session where “judgmental thinking” is not a significant factor in the level of suffering that I see in my clients. Over the past several weeks, I have noticed “anger” to be the main issue being reported by so many of my clients, seemingly eclipsing reports of depression, anxiety, and other common symptoms of psychological suffering.
Since “judgmental thinking” is an expression of frustration leading to anger, I have spent significant time discussing being nonjudgmental versus judgmental, and the toxic effects of the latter. What I also came to realize as many of my clients talked about their anger at various people and/or situations, is that they were most angry with themselves, but not verbalizing it. When this is gently brought to their attention (that they were harshly judgmental with themselves), they have almost always experienced a gush or flood of emotions, often crying, and admitting that they were indeed afraid they were the cause of all of their problems.
The effects of this on me have been to remind me not only of the powerful effects of judgmental thinking on the mood and disposition of my clients, but also of the many forms that the thinking style can take. I also have come to view much of the anger being expressed in my sessions as misdirected self-anger. I would argue that self-anger is far more important and damaging (and therefore demanding attention first) than the anger expressed at others. I would like to know what others think about this link between judgmental thinking and self-anger.
Mark Hankla
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