Rumination, Mindfulness, and Being in the Moment

One of the most common issues my clients struggle with in therapy is rumination. Rumination can be related to a wide variety of issues and types of emotional responses. For instance, we may feel we’ve been wronged or slighted by someone we “thought” we could trust and ruminate about how and why that person did the perceived dirty deed. During the ruminating the event is played over and over and the initial emotional response is experienced again and again.

Another example would be focusing on a “possible” future event that would be hurtful even though the actual likelihood of the event is inflated due to worrying. I’m sure almost everyone has had the experience of interacting with a family member or friend who was irritable or short with you, and then wondering what you might have done to offend or upset them (even though it may not have anything to do with you at all). What often happens next is rumination about why the other person is upset plus worrying about the next interaction. In this example there are an infinite number of possible scenarios for future interactions to ruminate about, and I will bet none of the ones you imagine are positive, causing negative emotions like anxiety, sadness, anger, and maybe even fear. Consequences for this rumination can include being distracted from current activities which in turn can have any number of negative effects.

Rumination is analogous to suffering and is something we can learn to reduce. There are usually distinct thought patterns that can be identified that can be changed and counteracted. Judgmental thoughts such as “if only,” “why,” “it shouldn’t have,” or “it should be” are often part of rumination. Replacing judgmental statements with acceptance and non-judgmental observation of facts can slow down and counteract rumination. Try visualizing an event you ruminated about in the past and then saying to yourself two types of statements. First say: “That was a very sad and hurtful thing that happened to me.” Then say: “Why does that always happen to me?” Do they feel different to say? Which one sounds like a statement that lets you move on? Which one leaves you feeling unsatisfied and needing to pursue an answer again and again? Learning how to reduce or stop ruminating thoughts will reduce your stress and improve your life.

 

Mark E. Hankla

Taking Hold of Your Mind

People experiencing trauma related problems often say that they have difficulty controlling their thinking.  They may describe being bothered by thoughts that keep intruding on their thinking, or impulses to do things that might be harmful.  Obsessional thinking or going over the same thought repeatedly is another disturbance that can be a big problem.  These, as well as other disturbances in the process of their thinking are often described by our clients. 

While there are a variety of ways to address problems with the thinking process, using mindfulness skills is one that most people can learn and practice.   In her skills training manual, Psychologist Marsha Linehan devotes a major section to mindfulness skills which she titles “taking hold of your mind.”  I find this a fitting title because many people describe the experience of thinking problems as feeling like their mind is out of control. 

One of the first skills that Dr. Linehan covers is called “observe, just notice” which falls into the category of easy to say, difficult to do.  The skill involves observing your thoughts without getting caught up in what they are.  Dr. Linehan says to “…watch your thoughts coming and going, notice each feeling, rising and falling like waves in the ocean.”  I have found another useful metaphor to be that of standing beside a river watching your thoughts and feelings come floating down from upstream, drifting across in front of you and continuing to float downstream out of your awareness.  These and other observe techniques can be very helpful in learning to be in greater control of your thinking.  They are not very easy to use at first and coaching and a lot of practice is usually needed.  I think the time and effort taken to learn and use them is worth it.   I’ll describe more mindfulness skills in future posts.

Bill Bonacker