Crisis Managemet Questions

The Three “What” Questions of Crisis Management

I recently attended a meeting of Mental Health care providers who provide parenting classes for divorcing couples with children. During the meeting, one of the participants shared one of the tools that she uses to help the parents conceptualize how to manage the stress of “crisis” moments. She called it one of the principles of “Reflective Practice,” and to think of it as the most important three “what” questions to ask yourself when something distressing occurs. Specifically, the three questions are: “WHAT happened?”; “So WHAT?”; and “WHAT now?” 

WHAT HAPPENED? This refers to an honest, objective assessment of the event without adding value judgment or other extraneous thoughts about it. Not minimizing or catastrophizing about the event, but describing it realistically. For example, if there has been an accident, describe it. Describe injuries if they occurred. If there has been a fight or disagreement, just describe it. What happened, who did what to whom? Stick to the facts. 

SO WHAT? This refers to the actual consequences of the event, not how you feel about it. If you had an argument with someone and the two of you are not talking, describe it. Refrain from using energy thinking about how the person is a jerk or much you wish you could get even with him or her for treating you badly. If you or someone you care about suffered a financial hardship and paying bills is going to be a problem, describe it. It does not include feelings and judgments such as how unfair it is. Those things might seem very important to you, but they don’t help you actually manage or cope with the situation. 

NOW WHAT? This stage refers to planning what you need to do now given the situation that results from what has already passed. If there is a rift in a relationship that you want to repair, what steps can you take to repair it? If someone has hurt you and is likely to hurt you again, what steps are needed to keep yourself safe? If there has been an accident with injuries, what steps are needed to help heal the injuries in the best manner possible? If you are facing a financial hardship, what steps are needed to cope with it?

Dealing with events or crisis in such a way will free you from the chains that emotional crisis (different from the actual physical effects of the event) place on you. If it helps, write it down using the three “what” questions to help you sort out your response. You will find that a lot of what we think about in stressful situations keeps us from being effective, and actually helps keep the stress, and therefore the suffering, going.

Mark E. Hankla, MA